Argh.. stupid M!@#!@!uc@#$!!!!

I have given up on myself! After all the stupid courses that you go thru in life you expect something fro an outcome. Anger management, personality development, math class, IMS, and all the blah that I went through to keep myself busy and become more civilized. Well guess nothing worked. Come to think of it, personality development, guess there was nothing to develop in the first place, so that money went drown the drain. Then there was anger management… even after all the serious counseling I am still scared of my own anger! But yes from something bordering close to hysteria, it has come down to an occasional irritability that makes me want to go and hit someone so bad that they don’t ever even think about annoying me. But yeah, guess the angry look keeps people away.. It works mostly on Bj I think. Then there was math.. I don’t really practice all of it anymore and the entire cat training well.. It has eroded away with time, and there are attempts to renew and refresh it as and when there is time. Like now, when I am supposed to be working, but monotony need a break. Besides, the last nail in the coffin was yesterday, when out of a sudden impulse I decided to go home! I still can’t believe that some where in my mind I still have all the characteristics that most people in the civilized world detest. Impulsiveness, stubbornness, short temper, indecisiveness, laziness, lack of any kind of “lack of life” maturity. All of it is so boring. Time management was something that I went thru last week, was a good session. After which I concluded that if I can manage my time I would have a lot of time to go around doing the things that most of the civilized people wouldn’t approve off. Btw, I really think I am going to jail for physical assault sometime soon... Very soon. Anger building up as a result of overexposure to a human chimpanzee.

And almost three weeks after what I wrote a little bit of anger showed up today. What an annoying animal! Maybe evolution stopped somewhere in between. If u drove on Chennai roads, chances are that you would have encountered at least one buffalo standing in the middle of the road. This thing probably wasn’t there 20 seconds before, and wouldn’t move no matter what u did. And you can’t run over it because you are not driving a truck. Sad situation that drives you mad. Exactly what makes me loose my temper and say stupid M!@#!@!uc@#$ with a !@#!#y@#$ 2#$@#$@.